I hate PMS. A lot.
And the biggest reason why I hate it is because I get extremely negative mood swings in which I feel like just crying and breaking down for absolutely no reason. It first just starts with a neutral or low mood. And if I’m not distracted right away or for a prolonged period of time, I start getting this feeling in my chest. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s stressful. It’s the same pain I get when I have anxiety, or feel panicked, or feel depressed. When I get like that, it’s impossible for me to calm down. Outwardly, I can act calm, but on the inside everything just feels like it’s racing. My mind can’t stay calm, my chest just hurts.
Eventually I get this feeling of just wanting to cry really badly. Oftentimes, I can attach a reason. Sometimes it makes sense, but oftentimes I’m just overreacting or being dramatic over some incident. Regardless, I just get this urge to just breakdown and just cry.
But this time it’s different because I can’t think of one possible reason for why I would cry. I have nothing to complain about. I am actually quite happy with my life right now. Nothing tragic has happened to me, and it appears that my friends are happy as well. This is a purely hormonal need to cry.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
And furthermore, the worst part about being aware of the fact I have such negative mood swings is the fact that I begin to remember every single friendship and relationship I single-handedly destroyed because I couldn’t control my emotions. It worries me to no end that it’ll just happen again.