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seeing your friends improve at something they’ve been working hard on
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have you ever thought you meant a lot to someone and then you find out that you’re just one person out of so many others that they talk to, and compared to the way they talk to the other people, you’re really just nothing?
(Source: s-a-m-m-a-e-l, via alohaerica)
(Source: jostarfireforever, via prettymuchdead13)
I hate PMS. A lot.
And the biggest reason why I hate it is because I get extremely negative mood swings in which I feel like just crying and breaking down for absolutely no reason. It first just starts with a neutral or low mood. And if I’m not distracted right away or for a prolonged period of time, I start getting this feeling in my chest. I don’t know how to describe it. It’s stressful. It’s the same pain I get when I have anxiety, or feel panicked, or feel depressed. When I get like that, it’s impossible for me to calm down. Outwardly, I can act calm, but on the inside everything just feels like it’s racing. My mind can’t stay calm, my chest just hurts.
Eventually I get this feeling of just wanting to cry really badly. Oftentimes, I can attach a reason. Sometimes it makes sense, but oftentimes I’m just overreacting or being dramatic over some incident. Regardless, I just get this urge to just breakdown and just cry.
But this time it’s different because I can’t think of one possible reason for why I would cry. I have nothing to complain about. I am actually quite happy with my life right now. Nothing tragic has happened to me, and it appears that my friends are happy as well. This is a purely hormonal need to cry.
I hate it. I hate it so much.
And furthermore, the worst part about being aware of the fact I have such negative mood swings is the fact that I begin to remember every single friendship and relationship I single-handedly destroyed because I couldn’t control my emotions. It worries me to no end that it’ll just happen again.
science fiction was invented by a woman
don’t you ever fucking forget that
in mary shelley we trust
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